“SEEING THROUGH THE DARKNESS..”

"SEEING THROUGH THE DARKNESS.."

As I woke up this morning, I had the clearest understanding of the STORM during the past year, and I'm grateful that I didn't CLOSE MY HEART or divorce myself of the possibilities of GOD RESTORING "everything that has been lost or stolen"!

When I was ATTACKED last year, it was the Mercy of God that allowed me to walk into the hospital in my own strength.. GRIEF, DEPRESSION, and FEAR nearly took me out, because all the storms and satanic attacks were ALMOST too much..But, I'm believing GOD TO RESTORE!!

PLEASE PRAY for my FAMILY, and stand with ME for GOD TO COMPLETELY RESTORE in 2023!!

I don't think we're still connected on Facebook, but PRAY FOR THEM!! WS-3 🙏🏽💜💙❤️💛💚💛🙏🏽

***TO MY FAMILY***

PLEASE FORGIVE ME, MAMA..

My BODY "is" a TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. When I started to grieve the loss of Charlene more than fourteen years ago, I STOPPED taking care of and really loving myself; and I'm so sorry that I put you through EIGHT YEARS of letting me vacillate "in and out of grief", despair, and wanting to give up or just end my life..

I am NOT superior to YOU in any way, and we are NOT "unequally yoked"!! YOU bring so much to the table that I've never experienced before, and brought BALANCE, STRENGTH and COURAGE I didn't know I had, and I thank you for it..

The GRIEF from all my past losses and journey between 1999-2012, was NOT your fault, your problem, or your issues to fix or address. You and the children have served me UNSELFISHLY, and given me the gift of TOUGH LOVE and DUTIFULNESS that is the greatest demonstration of SERVANTHOOD that I've ever seen!

PLEASE FORGIVE my inability to process and let go during our first eight years — I got CAUGHT UP trying to be the provider and give you all everything that I thought you deserved. But, the problem with my demonstrations of love is that they were NOT in wisdom, and I was trying to give of myself like you'd given to me; except what you really wanted was for me TO BE WELL!

MAMA: I'm at the Los Angeles Dream Center getting healed, being made whole, and taking care of myself! PLEASE give me the chance to get it together, because I want to COME HOME after ABBA and I tackle the issues I need to address to make me ALL BETTER!

I apologize for forcing your hand, because I KNOW you weren't going to support me while YOU WATCHED ME DIE! THANK YOU for having courage enough to separate from me and FILE DIVORCE, because you didn't want to watch me DIE!

FORGIVE ME for believing the worst, and somehow believing that when I got the diagnosis you didn't mean me well. My heart was hurting and my eyes were heavy, so I couldn't see how bad you wanted me well. I misunderstood your anger, and I can't wait to hold you ALL and be the family GOD called us too be..

PLEASE FORGIVE ME and BE PATIENT for a few more months, because if YOU'RE WILLING, I pray that we can ALL COME TOGETHER TO RECONCILE and HEAL..🙏🏽💙💜❤️💛💚💛🙏🏽

In SPANISH..

POR FAVOR, PERDÓNAME, MAMÁ...

Mi CUERPO "es" un TEMPLO DEL ESPÍRITU SANTO. Cuando empecé a llorar la pérdida de Charlene hace más de catorce años, DEJÉ de cuidarme a mí mismo y realmente a amarme a mí mismo; y siento mucho haberte hecho pasar por OCHO AÑOS de dejarme vacilar "dentro y fuera del dolor", la desesperación y querer rendirme o simplemente terminar

¡NO soy superior a TI de ninguna manera, y NO somos "de forma desigual"! Traes tanto a la mesa que nunca he experimentado antes, y trajiste EQUILIBRIO, FUERZA y CORAJE que no sabía que tenía, y te doy las gracias por ello...

El GRIEF de todas mis pérdidas pasadas y mi viaje entre 1999-2012, NO fue su culpa, su problema o sus problemas para solucionar o abordar. ¡Tú y los niños me han servido DESAUTOLAMENTE, y me han dado el don de AMOR DURO y DUTIFULNESS, que es la mayor demostración de SERVICIO que he visto!

POR FAVOR, PERDONA mi incapacidad para procesar y dejar ir durante los primeros ocho años. Me pillaron tratando de ser el proveedor y darte todo lo que pensé que te merecías. Pero, el problema con mis demostraciones de amor es que NO estaban en sabiduría, y estaba tratando de dar de mí mismo como tú me habías dado; ¡excepto que lo que realmente querías era que yo estuviera BIEN!

MAMA: ¡Estoy en The Los Angeles Dream Center sanando, siendo sanado y cuidando de mí mismo! ¡POR FAVOR, dame la oportunidad de reunirme, porque quiero VOLVER A CASA después de ABBA y abordar los problemas que necesito abordar para hacerme TODO MEJOR!

¡Me disculpo por forzar tu mano, porque SÉ que no ibas a apoyarme mientras ME MIRABAS MORIR! ¡GRACIAS por tener el valor suficiente para separarte de mí y PRESENTAR EL DIVORCIO, porque no querías verme MORIR!

PERDÓNAME por creer lo peor, y de alguna manera creer que cuando recibí el diagnóstico no me referías bien. Me dolía el corazón y los ojos estaban pesados, así que no podía ver lo mucho que me querías bien. Entendí mal tu ira, y no puedo esperar a abrazarlos a TODOS y ser la familia que DIOS nos llamó también...

POR FAVOR, PERDÓNAME y SÉ PACIENTE durante unos meses más, porque si ESTÁS DISPUESTO, rezo para que TODOS podamos UNIRNOS PARA CONCILIAR y CURAR. 🙏🏽💙💜❤️💛💚💛🙏🏽

Sent from my iPhone

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